Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

When do you feel most peaceful ever?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

How has your life changed for the past 10 years? Can you share your #10year challenge? Is your life better, worse, or still hopeful?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What nonsense did you hear today in India that made you laugh?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I actually pay taxes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

How should an atheist respond to a religious person who asks, "Why do you hate God?" What are some appropriate and inappropriate ways to answer this question?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Stocks to Open Flat as Trade Pact Details Awaited: Markets Wrap - Bloomberg

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Google's Find Hub finally gets AirTag-like UWB precision finding - Android Police

I see through liars

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I can read

What are some great short jokes?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Why hasn't Japan legalized same-sex marriage?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

How do I stop my 12-year-old daughter from crying herself to sleep? I have punished her and she still does it.

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I’m 26 years old and a married woman. My husband hates my flat chest. What is the permanent solution?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Have you ever been a victim of gaslighting? What happened?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Where did Noah build the Ark? Was it in a desert or near water?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What are some ways to drive women crazy while many men don't know?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Can you share a picture of your favorite outfit and explain why you love it?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have a reading level above third grade

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is